Flying Sucks

If I wasn’t charged 50 bucks per piece, I’d always travel with this much luggage.

*I wrote a few blog posts over the past couple months for fun…here’s one I wrote after my trip to Texas.*

Remember the good ol’ days? The days when flying was glamorous? Everyone dressed up, traveled with round shaped luggage, drank free martini’s, got free meals, and smoke cigarettes without someone hassling you? Yeah… me either.  (Although, thank God no one is allowed to smoke anymore…I mean seriously, can you imagine a smoke filled plane? Eww.

I did not fly for the first time until I was twenty years old, just 7 years ago. However, flying seemed much more fun even that short time ago. I never had to pay for luggage, the planes were rarely full, all snacks and meals were free, most flights had a movie playing, and I did not have to get felt up and stripped to my bare essentials each time I went through security.

Still, I like to pretend that I am glamorous when I fly. I dress nice (mostly). That just means I never wear shorts or sandals, and I fix my hair. I use my laptop like I’m doing something really important. I go through the “expert flyer” line in security and scoff at the “family” line. I always order ginger ale and black coffee from the attendants. I buy a new fashion magazine to browse, and a snack from one of the bookstores as a treat for all the hoopla I have to put up with now. Basically, I spend even more money to pretend that flying is still fun.

It’s hard work to pretend to be Audrey Hepburn flying first class in the 50’s though… my laptop dies too soon, I forget my headphones almost every flight, I get patted down because my socks are too tall (that actually happened), the airport security yells at me (again) for forgetting to take the bottle of water out of my backpack (This is especially embarrassing in front of everyone in the “expert flyer” line…although they often miss the bottle of lotion floating around in the bottom of my purse.), they’re out of ginger ale, magazines are double the price, and the person sitting in front of me has their seat back against my knees.

I am sure there are great reasons why flights are getting more and more expensive,  why we have to pay for every bag, even why snacks aren’t free anymore, and  why few flight attendants are still friendly… but I can’t help but long for the good ol’ days of Pan Am.

At least no flight is ever low on coffee.

God Speed!

P.S. Don’t forget to book your flights to Disney for June 9th!

2 Replies to “Flying Sucks”

  1. Hilarious! You are definitely an experienced flyer!

  2. […] love Audrey Hepburn. I just searched my blog and I have mentioned her in 7 posts. My adoration of her lead me to Breakfast at Tiffanys, which […]

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