How to Have a Sucky Time at Brew at the Zoo (and my attempt at stealing beer)

looking sad at the zoo

Nashville Brew at the Zoo

You all must know by now, that I love the Nashville Zoo. We are there ALL the time and go to just about every event… partly because I usually get press passes, but mostly because we genuinely love our zoo and utilizing our membership. You may remember when I attended, reviewed and raved about their food and wine fest, The Sunset Safari. We LOVED it, even in the pouring rain, so obviously, we wanted to try the Brew at the Zoo too. I was a little disappointed when I learned that my Brew at the Zoo press passes were ‘designated driver’ passes, but not discouraged enough to keep from going. Who needs alcohol to have a good time? Not me!

brew at the zoo rules
I was so hoping to catch someone breaking rule #2.

Last night, as the storm clouds rolled in, yet again, I arrived the the zoo solo. (Husband was meeting me from work and running late.) I began walking around and immediately felt a little sad and awkward because every single person appeared to be either on a date or with a group of friends. I shuffled through the crowds and made my way to the first beer table thinking how nice it would be to have a drink, relax and maybe even feel a little less alone/awkward. Of course, I quickly remembered that I was not allowed to have a drink, and the giant red X’s the woman at the gate drew on my hands would certainly keep me from fooling anyone into sneaking me one. Which, BTW I was literally the only “designated driver” that had X’s drawn on her hands with a permanent marker, WTF? It’s like they knew I might plan to get a little sneaky. How rude.

looking sad at the zoo
Me…alone…sad…in the rain….and sober

What seemed like hours later, Husband arrived, and we decided to make the best of a “meh” situation.

Husband- Want to get food from one of the food trucks?

Me- Nah, standing and eating in the rain would be more tolerable with a buzz.

Husband- Ride the Soaring Eagle zipline?

Me- Okay!

Zipline- Closed due to rain. 

soaring eagle closed at the zoo

What’s the next best activity? The carousel! I have the “unlimited ride pass” with my membership, which means we can ride at no charge. Of course, I have to actually have my membership card with me to utilize the pass, which I did not.

can't ride carousel
Maybe next time

There were special tables set up around the zoo to hold the commemorative tasting glasses anytime you needed to set yours down. I may not have had a tasting glass, but I did have my bottle of water and I also needed to set it down from time to time. It didn’t quite fit in with the others though….like water bottle like water bottle holder, I guess.

water bottle doesn't quite fit
Can you find which object doesn’t belong?

The zoo had also set up cute little photo ops around the trails for you and your friends to take selfies and use hashtags like #MLBREWZOO and #NashvilleBrewAtTheZoo. So between two groups of tipsy twenty-something girls, I jumped in to get my own party pic.  Here’s one of my super fun photos. #sober #squadless

photo opp brew at the zoo
woohoo party

No big deal. We weren’t giving up on our brew-less brew at the zoo just yet. We decided to enjoy the animals! We got to see some flamingos, monkeys, birds and goats, but I was most excited to go visit the giraffes. The map had beer tastings and a live band listed next to the giraffe exhibit, which lead me to believe the giraffes would be there too.

They were not.

no giraffes at zoo
“Giraffes, are you there? It’s me, Hilarie.”

At this point, I decided to try a new tactic. Everyone was pretty intoxicated at this point. I assumed no one would notice if I just took a little sip of their beer, right? I mean, I’d basically be doing them a favor. They’ve had enough to drink!

Wrong. He definitely noticed and cared. Whatever happened to “sharing is caring”?

trying to steal a sip
“Please! Just one little sip!”

I was just about to give up when I came across the Alcohol Breath Testing tent. For $2 you can take a breathalyzer test AND if you guess your blood alcohol level exactly right, you win a free shirt! That’s when I knew I could turn the night around. I could DEFINITELY guess this right, and I love winning new shirts to sleep in! So, I took out my two bucks and proudly said, “I guess .000!”

Breathalyzer lady – No. You aren’t allowed to guess that.


alcohol breath test
I really thought I could win this one.

At this point, we’d seen every booth, live music group and animal, and decided it was time to go and get dinner inside a dry restaurant with seats. BUT, before we leave, might as well grab a quick drink to-go! My plan was to grab and run, fast. I just wan’t quite fast enough.

Well, it was worth a try….

one more attempt at sneaking a beer
Oh, come on!

At the end of the night, I did get to get a drink at one table.

Water. I got water.

mad about it
Do I look like I want my photo taken?

Moral of the story? If you plan to attend Brew at the Zoo, do NOT volunteer to be the DD. Unless you are pregnant, or sober, or don’t like beer, or have a real adoration of food trucks or you’re just a REALLY good friend. I would however, recommend an Uber, some cash and an umbrella because it is most definitely going to rain!


8 Replies to “How to Have a Sucky Time at Brew at the Zoo (and my attempt at stealing beer)”

  1. Mark Zimbicki says: Reply

    Do you know the name of the man grabbing your arm?

    1. positivelypanicked says: Reply

      Well, his name tag says Scott… Do you know him??

  2. Those people are party poopers! You looked good.

  3. They’re party poopers. At least you looked good!

  4. Haha, cute post, way to make the most of a lame situation.

    1. positivelypanicked says: Reply

      Thanks…I try, I try.

  5. […] How to Have a Sucky Time at Brew at the Zoo (and my attempt at stealing beer) […]

  6. […] Between all the road trippin’ were a few zoo trips, both for kids and adults… […]

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.