I Don’t Wanna!!!!!!

We have to move.

Our lease is up in less than a month, and the owner of our apartment is selling it (for $300,000!), which means we HAVE to leave. And, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to move!!!!!

I do not LOVE our apartment. It’s less than 400 square feet, there were holes in the floor and walls that we had to fill in, it’s incredibly old, and it’s musty. It’s also so hot right now that we cannot stand to sleep in our loft. We are forced to sleep on the futon in the living room, which really makes the already teeny apartment seem half the size.

Even with all these faults, I still whine, pout, and throw a fit whenever I think about moving.

First of all, I LOVE our neighborhood. We are 5 blocks from my job (unheard of in Manhattan), 5 blocks from Central block, ten minute walk to the MET and Guggenheim, really phenomenal restaurants in every directions, amazing places to shop (Hello Madison and 5th ave!), it’s the safest neighborhood in all of Manhattan, AND Zoey lives just two blocks away! It’s perfect.

Secondly, we have moved exactly 8 times in the last four years. EIGHT TIMES!!! I was really looking forward to having a break from packing and unpacking. Is it really too much to ask to stay in one place for just 2 itty bitty years?!

Also, if you haven’t heard, finding a place to live in the city is grueling. It’s unbelievably expensive, but the worst part are the brokers. The brokers in NYC must be working for Satan, it’s the only possible explanation. I will work from sun-up until sun-down for days on end searching for apartments. I will walk miles in this hot summer weather to look at minuscule apartments with no A/C. Then, I will fill out 500 pages of documents, make copies of every document ever given to me, sign in blood, and sell my soul to rent my apartment of choice. Finally, after ALL of MY work, I will pay the broker $1500. Why? Because he unlocked the door when I viewed the apartment, and he handed me the pile of papers to fill out. That’s it.

On top of over-charging for their services, brokers are mean and manipulative.  Here’s a common conversation I’ve had numerous times this week:

Me: I’m looking for a 1 bedroom apartment, in the Upper East Side, that allows dogs, and costs X-amount.

Broker: That’s impossible. You will never find what you want in the Upper East Side for X-amount. 

Me: Weeelllll, I live in that exact situation now for X-amount….

Broker: That’s VERY rare…

Me: So not “impossible”, just difficult. 

Broker: You need to look outside of Manhattan, or spend more money.

Me: No thank you.

And it goes on…and on….

I’ve only been looking for a week, so I’m still hopeful that we will find a suitable apartment for us. Husband and I have good routine going when it comes to apartment hunting. I look, research, call, email, and talk to all the brokers. He makes me sandwiches, coffee, and pats my head when I slam my laptop shut and try to hide from all the brokers under my covers. It works for us.

A couple days ago, I was venting with a co-worker (who is also apartment hunting) about how frustrating it is to move. As we were chatting, we came across an interesting article in the New York Post someone left in the break room.

Bloomberg, our mayor, has a new plan to build micro-apartments in Manhattan. These micro-apartments will be between 275 and 300 sq feet (a little longer than a dorm room). He is currently having a design contest to find the best idea for such a tiny place. They must have a kitchen area, a bathroom, and a window. Bloomberg says he came up with this construction program in order to build more economical housing for young singles and couples who are just moving to the city and trying to start their careers. Hmm, that sounds nice.

Except that the rent will most likely range from $2,000 to $3,000 a month. Well, Mr. Bloomberg, if I could afford $3,000/month, I would NOT live in a micro-apartment. In fact, I would not have any trouble finding an apartment right now. Maybe you should re-think your plan for “affordable housing”.

I bet he did his research with a broker when constructing this plan.

Anyhow, we leave tomorrow for our annual family vacation in Hilton Head, SC (soooo excited!), so we will have a week long break from apartment hunting. Although, now that I think about it…We will only have a little more than a week until August after we return…hmph.

Wish us luck!


6 Replies to “I Don’t Wanna!!!!!!”

  1. Girl, I have to start the apt hunt as well at the end of the month. I have moved so many times in this city and can’t stand it. Brokers are the spawn of the Devil himself.

    1. Isn’t it just the worst?! Guess I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with these horrible people. BTW, I often look at your page and website to see what your up to in your career, and I read an article recently that you are going to be in the new production of Annie! That’s so exciting, congrats! We will definitely have to come check it out when it opens!

  2. Dannnng! Good luck apartment hunting. There are still plenty of affordable places in Texas! : )

    1. hmmm my commute would definitely be a little longer from there…but I’ll look into that!

  3. Golly! Good luck with the hunt.

    1. thanks, we need it!

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