Burying Anxiety Under Activities

Being a person with high anxiety, I worry about a zillion little things throughout each day. Even on good days when I consider myself calm and carefree, I still have a constant stream of negative thoughts trying to pull me into a panic. On a typical “good day” my thoughts look something like this:

*Yawn* Oh, I’m so tired. I hope I don’t have cancer.

I need more coffee….I’m so jittery…maybe I have heart palpitations.

What if I get hit by a taxi on the way to work?

My boss seems like he’s mad at me.

Is everyone talking about me in the break room?

I think the barista at Starbucks put real milk in my coffee; that would explain my stomach ache.

Why did I hit snooze 7 times and skip going to the gym this morning??? I’m such a failure.

It’s too hot in here; my blood pressure must be high.

My hands looks swollen.

I’m sweating too much. I must be too anxious.

Husband was supposed to meet me 5 minutes ago…he’s never late…what if he’s sick….what if he’s lost…maybe he was hit by a taxi…

I have a terrible break-out, my heart is beating too fast, my head hurts, I feel dizzy, I’m sleepy, I can’t breathe, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

You can see how hearing this in my head all day can sorta bring me down. One little trick I use to end this negative diatribe is to keep my mind occupied with more positive activities. This weekend I planned to stay busy volunteering in damaged areas around the city. Unfortunately, every site I checked or emailed turned me down. Turns out that NYC is full of people just dying to help others in need, which I guess if really fortunate.

Instead of volunteering, I kept busy by finding any and every entertaining activity around me. After picking up some extra hours at work, I did a little window shopping on the Upper East Side, and scored myself a free facial at L’Occitane.

Me and Zoey getting a free facial.

Afterwards, I was feeling pretty insecure about my bare, pimpled skin. Luckily, there’s a Sephora next door! It’s impossible for me to enter a Sephora without coming out looking slightly like a hooker and smelling of 4 different perfumes.

Oh yeah..that’s a lot of makeup!

After Sephora, I was feeling a little bookish so I popped into a Barnes and Noble, also right next door. The minute I entered I discovered that the cast from Bring It On was giving a free performance in only half an hour! We hopped in line, got great seats, and watched a really great performance from a talented cast. I’ve wanted to see this show for a while because it looks like fun, but now I must see it! There’s was a lot of talent there, even without the cheerleader outfits and backflips.

The cast of Bring It On.

The rest of my free time was spent cat-sitting my favorite cat-nieces, enjoying time in Times Square, eating Vietnamese food, and shopping for my future niece or nephew.

cute and stupid Scout
my favorite spot in Times Square
mmmmm vegetable pho
Boy or Girl??? Which will it be???

My busy schedule kept the horrible thoughts at bay for a couple of days….Maybe I was too busy. I probably didn’t use my time wisely…I should have been more productive…Uh oh…is my left arm going numb!?! Here we go again!


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