Being a person with high anxiety, I worry about a zillion little things throughout each day. Even on good days when I consider myself calm and carefree, I still have a constant stream of negative thoughts trying to pull me into a panic. On a typical “good day” my thoughts look something like this:
*Yawn* Oh, I’m so tired. I hope I don’t have cancer.
I need more coffee….I’m so jittery…maybe I have heart palpitations.
What if I get hit by a taxi on the way to work?
My boss seems like he’s mad at me.
Is everyone talking about me in the break room?
I think the barista at Starbucks put real milk in my coffee; that would explain my stomach ache.
Why did I hit snooze 7 times and skip going to the gym this morning??? I’m such a failure.
It’s too hot in here; my blood pressure must be high.
My hands looks swollen.
I’m sweating too much. I must be too anxious.
Husband was supposed to meet me 5 minutes ago…he’s never late…what if he’s sick….what if he’s lost…maybe he was hit by a taxi…
I have a terrible break-out, my heart is beating too fast, my head hurts, I feel dizzy, I’m sleepy, I can’t breathe, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
You can see how hearing this in my head all day can sorta bring me down. One little trick I use to end this negative diatribe is to keep my mind occupied with more positive activities. This weekend I planned to stay busy volunteering in damaged areas around the city. Unfortunately, every site I checked or emailed turned me down. Turns out that NYC is full of people just dying to help others in need, which I guess if really fortunate.
Instead of volunteering, I kept busy by finding any and every entertaining activity around me. After picking up some extra hours at work, I did a little window shopping on the Upper East Side, and scored myself a free facial at L’Occitane.
Afterwards, I was feeling pretty insecure about my bare, pimpled skin. Luckily, there’s a Sephora next door! It’s impossible for me to enter a Sephora without coming out looking slightly like a hooker and smelling of 4 different perfumes.
After Sephora, I was feeling a little bookish so I popped into a Barnes and Noble, also right next door. The minute I entered I discovered that the cast from Bring It On was giving a free performance in only half an hour! We hopped in line, got great seats, and watched a really great performance from a talented cast. I’ve wanted to see this show for a while because it looks like fun, but now I must see it! There’s was a lot of talent there, even without the cheerleader outfits and backflips.
The rest of my free time was spent cat-sitting my favorite cat-nieces, enjoying time in Times Square, eating Vietnamese food, and shopping for my future niece or nephew.
My busy schedule kept the horrible thoughts at bay for a couple of days….Maybe I was too busy. I probably didn’t use my time wisely…I should have been more productive…Uh oh…is my left arm going numb!?! Here we go again!