I had my second doctor appointment today. I had to have an echocardiogram done to check my heart murmur. (No results yet.) I have not felt nervous or anxious about the appointment all week (yay me!) Until last night…
I started getting a teeny bit worried last night, but Husband did his best to derail my train of thought before it got out of hand. This morning was rougher. I was very nervous from the moment I woke. I couldn’t speak as we walked to the bus, and I tried so hard to not let my thoughts go there.
There was a car fire a block away blocking the bus so we decided to catch a taxi. We walked the entire 15 blocks to the doctor’s office without ever getting a taxi. By the time I signed in I was sweating, my heart was pounding and my nerves were not any better.
An echocardiogram is an ultrasound on your heart, “no big deal”. Husband stayed in the room with me and I lay on my left side as the tech rolled goo all over my chest. This would have been okay if I was not scared of my own heartbeat. I have a phobia of hearing or feeling my heartbeat. I never lay on my left side for this reason.
My heart was beating fast from my nerves, and feeling it pound against the metal table made it that much worse! The tech was not very helpful. She kept telling me all about my heart, turning the sound on so I could hear it beat and commented that my hear rate was really quick. I was this close (my fingers are very close together) to telling her to stop and allow me to sit up.
Husband tried to lighten the mood by asking, “So is it a boy or a girl?” The tech didn’t find him very funny. He decided to quietly squeeze my hand instead.
Luckily, it ended ten minutes later. My obvious reward was coffee; there’s a Starbucks directly across the street. THEN, I got another reward: a New Orleans’s style King Cake!!!
I feel much better now, maybe a tiny bit worried about getting the results, but that’s probably “normal”.
Everyday gets a little easier. Baby steps people