This week has been painful. It all began with me discovering that I am indeed NOT pregnant (when I really thought/knew I was). I have wanted to be a Mom for…well, for as long as I can remember, and now that we are finally financially ready and stable enough to become parents I just cannot wait. It is probably my fault because I have been obsessive, and stressing myself out this month thinking about finally having a baby. I know it can take time, and that it’s important to relax (blah blah blah), but it sure seems like everyone single person on my Facebook newsfeed has gotten knocked up this year. So tell me fellow Facebookers, what’s your secret?
I was so certain that this was the month that I had planned out exactly how to tell everyone the news. It all began with treating Husband to breakfast at one of our favorite diners and spelling out congratulations with whip cream on his pancakes. I had already planned EVERYTHING. The planning should have been my first indicator that things would not workout my way. But, how on Earth do I keep myself from planning or getting my hopes up?! My mind is completely consumed with all things baby.
Other than that huge disappointment….it is our last week in our NY apartment. I have tried to prepare for this week for the last month, but with 3 guests and Husband being out-of-town for a couple of weeks it’s been difficult to get it done. We have a couple of days left to get everything packed into cardboard boxes and get all those teeny nail holes spackled. I am so excited to get into a real house with real rooms, but it’s still sad to say good-bye to our first and only New York apartment. In the last two years, we have had about 40 visitors stay with us, approximately 400 dinners delivered and only one mouse.
Since, we are moving out of our apartment, I will be moving into my Grandma-in-law’s apartment for the next month. Thankfully, she is willing to let me stay at her place while I finish up my last few weeks of work, but how on Earth do I pack for a month? In the last 3 days I wore a tank top with a skirt, pants and a coat, and rain boots with a raincoat. The weather here seems to be bi-polar. Do I need my heels? My cowboy boots? A bathing suit? Silver jewelry? My straightener? My coffee maker? A month is just a little too long for one suitcase.
The worst part about all this moving is that Husband is leaving for Tennessee a month before me. I hate when he is out-of-town for just a week. Now he will be moving into our new home, and Belle is going with him. I know I will be lonely without him here, but I will also be a little scared. Even though, my panic attacks have been scarce the last few months, I felt safe knowing that Husband is around to console me if needed. Just the idea of being alone for a month makes me anxious. Who is going to remind me that I am not dying? Anyone want to be my roommate for the next month?
On the bright side? Well… I can still drink coffee without fear of hurting a fetus. Grandma’s apartment has an elevator, laundry in the building, a bathtub AND cable! Staying at her place will be like staying at a resort this next month. And, even though I will miss Husband, I won’t miss unpacking and fixing all the little things in our new house. By the time I arrive, the most annoying tasks will be complete. (Right, Husband?)
Wish us luck as we start our new adventure, find new jobs and hopefully expand our tiny family!