Lowering My Expectations

lowering my expectations

I have a habit of creating incredibly fantastic scenarios in my head of how every future plan will unfold. I enjoy making plans, packing, writing itineraries and most of all imagining the perfect happiest family memories being made. Let me invite you into my imaginary perfect family holiday traditions for a moment….

It’s a chilly Saturday morning..we wake to a happy toddler talking and smiling in her crib. I have coffee. After a lovely, home-made enormous organic breakfast, we leave the house dressed in adorable winter attire, with perfectly coiffed hair and a flawlessly contoured face. We arrive to the tree farm, still happy, still adorable. Husband and I take turns taking photos of Luna picking out a tree. We cut it down together, laugh at our attempts to tie it to the roof of our car and end the trip with hot cocoa by the fire while listening to Christmas carols. Then, of course, I’d write a sweet little blog post about our adorable family outing. 

Sounds nice, right? Now, let’s take a stroll down real-life lane…join me?

We are out of town every single weekend. Husband is working 12 hour days. Balancing a part-time job, writing and Luna is complicated. Shit keeps happening and between bug infestations, insurance problems, oil changes and parties, I can’t find time to wash clothes. So, after work and school yesterday, Luna and I drive to Kroger to get groceries. As I leave, I notice the $30 trees on the sidewalk and realize this may be my only moment to get a tree. I let Luna help pick one out and a teenage boy helps me shove it into my car (because the back was already full of groceries and a stroller). It is raining the entire time.

Picking out our tree was not at all how I imagined it. And, getting it out of the car and carrying it up stairs was REALLY not how I imagined it. But, look at Luna’s face while we looked at trees…

picking out a tree

She is so happy. She loved the trees. She laughed at me while I tried to carry it upstairs. She yelled “uh oh Mama mess!” as it toppled over when I tried to attach the stand. She could seriously care less where the tree came from or how we got it. The only thing missing from our tree-getting trip was Husband, but he’ll be there to decorate it.

picking out a tree at Kroger

Sometimes, almost all the time, life does not turn out as I plan. Because of my super high expectations, I am often disappointed. However, as time passes, and as Luna grows, I am learning that the unexpected moments are often the most memorable. And, also that, when it comes to making precious little memories with my family the only thing that matters is them…not our perfect outfits, hair, photos, location or plans. Having each other, a sense of humor and the right attitude is really all we need.

prius with a Christmas tree


3 Replies to “Lowering My Expectations”

  1. This was perfect and something I definitely needed to read. Thanks for sharing.

    1. positivelypanicked says: Reply

      Thank you! I swear nothing has gone as planned lately, and I feel like the biggest mess. Sometime seeing everyone’s Facebook posts makes me feel like an even bigger failure, but I figure im probably not alone!

  2. Hilarie, in my opinion this is the best blog entry you’ve written. This is real. Great job!

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